we're blogging at a bar
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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