I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
