i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize