No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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