He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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