Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
