I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
