I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize