She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize