So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
