Jerry, you need to find god
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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