I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
