You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
