i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
