I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
