It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
