I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
