she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
