it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
