is wine microwaveable?
I love having hate sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
