do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
