hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
