His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
