No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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