life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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