After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
