need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.