We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain