Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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