But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
