We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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