He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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