Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
