At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize