I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
