what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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