she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
