just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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