clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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