Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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