I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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