I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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