So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
