belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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