I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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