I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
