craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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