my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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