I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
