great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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