I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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