If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
