To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize