So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
