dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
