I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
