i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
