After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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