one might say we're banned from that church
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
