there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
