dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
