Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
