I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
